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Single and Salty


By Saphina Carla

There's something about the "relationship" talk that sparks something in all of us. It's the topic that awakens the church goer whose fallen asleep during the first half of the preacher's sermon. It's the topic that sparks these battle of the sexes debates that often lead to one gender blaming the other for being (insert horrible characteristic here). It's the topic that causes us as women to sit in circles and have hour-long discussions about our "future Boaz." It's the thing that causes people to come out in droves once they hear a relationship series is going down. For some of us, it's the source of our passion and for others, its the source of our pain. Either way you put it, the idea and the discussion of the opposite sex arises something in most of us, whether it's because we're chasing them, want nothing to do with them, or simply don't understand "them" and how a relationship with "them" works.

Created by God, relationships are a gift. They're necessary and they help mold us into the people that God longs for us to be.

While they are awesome tools used by God, I find that many of us can easily take that "gift" and idolize it. As young adults, we can easily take our desire to have "a relationship" and put it on this pedestal where we are now chasing "it" more than we are chasing Him. Whether we want to admit it or not, some of us look at single-hood as this horrible holding cell until our "Boaz" or "Ruth" comes to rescue us from the gloom and doom of "being single." We spend more time preparing to walk down an aisle than we do preparing to see Jesus.

I've been there but I've also come to the conclusion that I don't ever want to just tolerate being single. I don't want to "endure" it as though it's something to be "endured" and not something to be thoroughly taken advantage of. I had to settle it in my heart, that I have a purpose to be fulfilled here and NOW. We all do. We ALL have an assignment pre-planned by God for us to complete.

I can't help but think, what if we were so consumed by THAT purpose to the point where we weren't so desperate for the affirmation of the opposite sex? What if we took FULL advantage of the free time we have as a single to preach the gospel and not complain about the lack of men and women of virtue within the church? What if Jesus truly consumed us so much so that we wouldn't be ready to jump off a bridge if God came down and told us we weren't going to get married? What if our generation of young adults were so passionate about Gods purpose for our lives that we weren't so worried about the opposite sex.

Just to be clear, the desire for marriage and relationship is a God given desire. Its a healthy righteous desire. But it cannot supersede our desire for the glory of God. As young adults, we have a mission to accomplish and something to DO but I believe many of us are too caught up in something that God has already taken care of in our lives.

Relationships are God given but it was never created to be our god.

For more from Saphina, visit her blog

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